Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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