Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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