I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
