i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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