$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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