So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
