just come out here and I will go home with you...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize