Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
soo... how was my night?
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