What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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