That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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