Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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