The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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