just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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