I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
