So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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