Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
