Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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