The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
