i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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