Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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