I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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