im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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