Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
