That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
