wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
