I got chris browned last night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my being single is dangerous.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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