would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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