After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize