My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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