I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
