She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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