they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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