no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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