I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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