No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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