the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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