uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
