Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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