He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
