Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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