Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
