i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
