The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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