wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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