I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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