whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
