well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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