Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
