the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ugly people sure do ruin things
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
