Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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