she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
