Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
