i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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