I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
