i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
