Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
