Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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