On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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