i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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