a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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