He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
